Continuing Regrets Turn Into Something Special
by LadyElaide
Summary: Sequel to Regrets: Back in Camelot Merlin is torn apart as the two men in his life cause disaster. Which love will remain? Which love will die? And which love was always there, but just never spoken out loud?
1. If I Cant Have Your Love

Author Note: This is a sequel to my fanfiction 'Regrets' so you might want to have a quick read through that to get an idea of what's going on, it's only a short one. If not basically Merlin's returned 9 years down the line with his partner Derek and things aren't going to well in King Arthur's court.

Continuing regrets turn into something special

Chap 1 - If I can't have your love:

Merlin had left the tavern very early as he was exhausted, so sleep was definitely needed. Derek had remained behind at the Dragon's Tavern to continue no doubt a drinking game with Gwaine.

Merlin and Derek's chambers were situated in the north wing of the castle where visitors of nobility normally staid. The rooms themselves were fitted with shields and tapestries of Camelot and the Pendragon crest. Fine leather chairs were placed around the long oak table, opposite the double bed that would undoubtedly be the most comfortable bed Merlin would ever get to sleep in.

The warlock pulled his dark blue tunic off and threw it to the nearest seat, intending to undress before blowing out the candles that lit the room so well when he suddenly felt a strong force tackle him from behind. He landed on the firm mattress and soft red quilt face down, however he was soon flipped round to lay on his back.

Merlin expected to see his blonde blue eyed lover back from the tavern but instead was shocked to see a different blonde pinning him down on the bed.

"Arthur, what are you doing?"

Instead of Arthur responding, the King shoved his mouth onto Merlin's. Using one arm to hold his old friend down and with his free hand began to forcefully untie Merlin's breeches.

The warlock squirmed, opening his mouth to protest; wrong decision that was, as the King took this as a sign to delve his tongue down Merlin's throat. While this was happening Arthur had managed to get his hand inside the now undone black breeches and grab hold of Merlin semi-hard on.

Merlin had, had enough, and with his magic propelled Arthur from him and onto the stone floor on the other side of the room.

Merlin jumped from the bed, doing up his breeches and ran from his chambers; leaving behind his disregarded tunic and the King of Camelot who was no crying out loudly . . .

"Merlin, I'm sorry!"

The warlock ran as fast as he could, not allowing thoughts to run through his mind of what had just happened, he ran straight to the Dragon's Tavern.

It was a good ten minutes before midnight when Merlin burst through the tavern doors. The Knights nor Derek were in sight, only a few drunken townsfolk were about now. Merlin walked towards the bartender who was busy serving an old and weary looking man.

"Sir, have you seen a blonde man, blue eyes" Merlin used his hand to show Derek's height "this tall, was in here with a couple of Knights."

By the time Merlin had got his description of his partner out the bartender had finished with the old man. "You mean the one that looks like our King Arthur?"

"Yeah, I suppose" Merlin gruffly answered. He always hated it when people pointed out Derek's likeness to the King of Camelot.

"He's upstairs mate. 1st floor, second door on the left."

"Thank you" and with that Merlin ran upstairs to the second door to the left and sped through.

At first Merlin thought the bartender had given him the wrong room, but the female grunts of 'Derek, Derek' getting louder, Merlin knew he was wrong.

"Oi, you perv, get out!" the female voice sounded, shaking Merlin out of his thoughts. The woman was looking straight at him, nudging her lover who in turn twisted round to look at him.

"Shit, Merlin!" Derek jumped from the bed, completely starkers and supporting a hard on; ignoring the woman's annoyed protests "Merlin, I'm sorry!"

The warlock ran instantly back the way he had come. Trying to understand what had just happened.

He ended up back at his old room within the physicians quarters and there he tried to sleep whilst being plagued by the apologises from the two men that have held his heart.


	2. Flowers Of Apologies

Continuing regrets turn into something special

Chap 2 – Flowers of apologies:

When Merlin woke his old room was just as he remembered it, yet something was different this morning than it had been last night. His bedroom was filled with dozens and dozens of different breeds of flowers Camelot's market sold.

There was a single red rose in full bloom laid across the bottom of his bed. A note was placed with it.

**Merlin,**

**I'm so very sorry, please forgive me.**

**I love you.**

The note brought a small smile to Merlin's tired face. He then picked up the rose and held it to his nose, breathing in the rose's beautiful earthy smell and felt loved.

Merlin stood up carefully, not wanting to tread on any of the flowers that were laid about his entire floor. Tip-toeing to the wardrobe he found some of his old clothes from years ago.

Once dressed, though rather tightly fitted as he had toned up slightly from all his travelling and working on the fields in Dunbar, Merlin headed of the Grand Hall where a breakfast was going to be laid out for the court.

Arthur had been crying all night. He couldn't believe what he had done, what he had tried to force Merlin to, urgh, he couldn't even finish his thoughts; it made him physically sick.

He hoped the flowers and note he had left Merlin would be an acceptable start of an apology.

Arthur would soon find out as the warlock in question walked through into the hall and into his line of vision.

Arthur's heart swelled at the sight of Merlin's happy cheerful grin and in his old clothes to boot. But instead of Merlin walking up to him, he walked up to his partner Derek and embraced him in a loving hug.

"Merlin, let me explain about last night" Derek pleaded when Merlin removed himself from the hug.

"No need, besides you were probably drunk out of your mind. The flowers, their beautiful" Merlin pulled forth the rose from the inside of his brown jacket "It's the most romantic thing you've ever done." Merlin gave Derek the most sweetest chaste kiss possible.

"Yeah, the flowers, I thought you'd like them" Derek confused played along.

"And the note. So simple but yet so meaningful" Merlin got the note out of his pocket to read it again. Derek reading it upside down form where he stood.

Arthur was taken aback. On watching from his throne it seemed as though Merlin had believed it was Derek who had left him the flowers. "As if the stupid farmer even knew where Merlin's old room was" the King muttered.

The breakfast feat was just ending when Arthur had left, turning down the long narrow corridor that was opened up on one side to the courtyard. The sound of someone clearing their throat had Arthur turning around.

Standing before him was Derek, similar in looks but undoubtedly opposite in personality, or at least that's what Arthur told himself.

"I know what you did" Derek began.

"I didn't mean to, last night, I couldn't control my need to touch him, I -"

"You what!"

"Merlin didn't tell you?"

"No! You gave him the flowers! Merlin thought they were from me."

"What do you have to apologise for?" Arthur questioned the blonde.

"None of your business, anyway, me and Merlin will soon be out of your hair highness."

"What do you mean?"

"Well considering what you've done to Merlin, there's no doubt we're leaving now" Derek explained "Merlin was right leaving this place if Camelot's royals are allowed to go round and rape their guests."

"I did not rape him!" The King shouted, alarming some of the passersby in the courtyard.

"But you tried, you wanted to. I finally get what Merlin says about you."

"And what's that?"

Derek grinned evilly, knowing the lie he was about to tell would hurt the King. "In Merlin's eyes your just as big a monster as your father was."

The statement hit home hard. Arthur was tearing up at the thought of Merlin thinking of him like that; a monster for letting all those innocent people die during his father's reign and doing nothing to stop it, for trying to ra- . . . rape Merlin.

"You're lying" the King spluttered. Tears has started to fall from his blue eyes.

Derek just laughed at the pitiful sight of the legendary King of Camelot. "Merlin thinks you're a monster, the very reason he ran away from your dirty hands and into my _sweet _bed."

At that Arthur lunged at the blonde, tackling him to the stone floor. One hand grasping onto Derek's tunic, the other curled into a fist and punching against Derek's face.

"Arthur!" someone shouted, and Arthur was pulled back. Once standing he could see that Merlin was helping Derek to his feet. The King was being held back by two of his knights.

"What happened?" Merlin barked towards Arthur. The King was silent, he hung his head in shame.

"Derek?" Merlin soothed his voice "What happened? Tell me."

"He attacked me"

"No" the King growled, charging forwards, though being held back by his knights.

"He's jealous of us" Derek continued "He wants you for himself."

"He's lying Merlin" Arthur retaliated "Well, he's not but -"

"I knew it was a mistake coming back here" Merlin said, wrapping his arm around Derek, leading him away.

The knights had now let go of their King who had now collapsed onto his knees.

Derek turned his head back while still being lead away by Merlin. The blonde with a smug look, grinned wide at the King.

As soon as the couple rounded the corner Arthur wept into his hands, covering his face from any that should pass.

Queen Guinevere had been watching the whole scenario from the identical open corridor that was across the courtyard from where her King was now crying hysterically.


	3. The Two Sets Of Lovers

Continuing regrets turn into something special

Chap 3 - The two sets of lovers:

When Derek had convinced Merlin that he was perfectly fine, Merlin had wondered off on his own. Through the lower parts of the castle, into the dungeons and then deep underground into the cavern that once was the prison to a Dragon that kept changing sides.

Merlin had not needed to bring down one of the lit torches that were always placed along the dungeon walls. His magic produced plenty of light for him to see where he was going.

Now lighting up the once dark and empty cavern Merlin leant against the back wall, going over out loud to himself about what has happened since stepping through the gates of Camelot only 24 hours ago.

"So Arthur comes on to me, trying to grab hold of my . . . well, urgh. Then Derek goes and sleeps with some random woman. He was drunk, but he didn't seem it, he certainly didn't have a hangover this morning. Then I wake to find I've been sleeping in flowerland. Then Arthur goes and attacks Derek." Merlin huffs his annoyance "God Merlin, you certainly know how to pick em' the aggressive perv and the drunken flower giving cheat."

A feminine laugh sounded from behind him. The warlock turned to see Gwen stepping out from the opening of the tunnel that lead down here.

"Gwen, what are you doing down here?"

"I followed you of course" the Queen answered. The warlock laughed as his dear friend sat down by him.

"Your ruin your dress."

"I don't care about my dress Merlin, I came down here to talk , but then I heard what you said."

Merlin was speechless, how was he to explain to Gwen that her husband had near enough, well . . . if Merlin couldn't finish it in his mind, he certainly wasn't going to be able to put it into real words.

"He never stopped wanting, loving you" Gwen spoke, fiddling with the hem of her dress.

Merlin turned his head in shock. Gwen just smiled at him.

"The first time we . . . you know" Gwen continued "he spoke of you in his sleep, apologising for what he had done, begging you not to leave him, that he loved you."

"Gwen, I -"

"I had my suspicions. The way you two were with each other at times."

"We never did anything I swear."

"Merlin it's fine, honest. Me and Arthur are King and Queen but we are not husband and wife. In the eight years of our marriage we have only been together a few times."

Merlin began to say something but Gwen cut him off.

"Lancelot and I however."

Merlin's eyes lit up in disbelief at the mention of her and Lancelot.

"We haven't done the . . . deed, but we have been together. We believe Arthur doesn't know, but then Arthur is very good at seeing things that shouldn't be there."

"Like when he knew about my magic."

"Are you disappointed with me Merlin?"

"No. You and Lancelot fit, you always did."

"Just like you and Arthur do."

"No, just like me and Derek."

"Did you like the flowers Merlin" Gwen tactfully changed the subject.

"How did you - "

"Who knew that Arthur could make so much noise running about the castle with bunches of flowers."

"Arthur? You mean Derek."

"Nope. Arthur probably figured you'd be in your old room."

"Would you excuse me" Merlin said, getting up to his feet and conjuring up a ball of light and passing it into Gwen's hand "For you to find your way back" and with that Merlin ran up the stairwell, the rest of the light going with him.

Merlin was stood outside of Arthur's chambers, the same one as when Merlin had still been in service as his manservant. The warlock was contemplating what he was even doing standing outside Arthur's door. Merlin however not being one to run away from a challenge, well now a days at least, walked into the Kings room.

Arthur looked up from his desk then straight back to what her had been doing. "See you still don't knock."

Merlin would have laughed but decided to get straight to the point "I'm sorry."

"For what?"

Merlin was silent for a minute "I don't actually know" he smiled.

"Well I have something to apologise for, a lot of things."

"Arthur you don't have to."

"Yes, yes I do." Arthur got from his chair and went round to lean on his desk. "I'm sorry for last night, for fighting Derek, for hurting you. I'm sorry I'm a monster, I -"

" I don't think you're a monster. You're the best man I know Arthur" Merlin genuinely smiled "thank you for the flowers by the way, Gwen told me it was you."

"Gwen?"

"She only knows about how we _were_, how we felt."

"How we **still **feel."

"How you still feel Arthur. I'm with Derek now."

"And he lied to you about giving you **my** flowers. What did he do to have to apologise to you for anyway?"

"It doesn't matter."

"Merlin"

"Fine" the warlock sighed "after I ran from **you**, I went to find Derek in the tavern, only to discover him having sex."

"He was cheating on you!" Arthur stood from leaning against the desk, angry at Derek even more.

"No, it's not like that."

Arthur's eyebrows hit the roof, not believing a word, but knowing Merlin wouldn't want to talk about it. The King changed the subject instead. "You saying the word 'sex' is really wierd"

Merlin broke out in laughter, the King joining in with the warlock.

"I'm 28 you know, I'm not so innocent as I portray" Merlin retaliated, playfully bantering back just like old times.

They talked for a few hours, generally catching up on missed years; though avoiding the subject of Derek of Gwen.

The King and warlock said their humble goodbyes unaware that peering around the corner was Merlin's other half. Derek was far from angry at seeing his partner leave the rooms of what could only be called his ex-lover.


	4. The Jealous Consequences Of Love

Continuing regrets turn into something special

Chap 4 - The jealous consequences of love:

Merlin had spent the rest of that day searching for Derek but to no avail. When night eventually came Derek was not in their room either. Feeling empty and alone Merlin slept for the second night in his old room that was still decorated with Arthur's flowers of apology.

Morning came and with it a happier King. Arthur had arranged a ride in the forest with his knights to furthermore heighten his good mood. On saddling up his horse he noticed Gwaine and Lancelot trudging along with the cheating bastard that was Derek.

"Arthur, is it alright if Derek comes along with us?" Lancelot asked.

"Merlin and Gwen are having a _girly_ day." Gwaine mockingly teased about his friends.

Arthur wanted to say no, to put his knights in the stocks for even asking to let that cheating scumbag come along.

"Of course he can come" the King put on a fake smile, kicking his arse for being so nice to his knights wishes.

The group had been riding for a good few hours within Camelot Forest. Arthur leading the pact with Lancelot and Derek riding directly behind him.

The sound of an arrow leaving it's bow caught Arthur's attention before an arrow flew past his head, mere inches away before connecting with a tree.

"We're under attack!" the King cried, drawing his sword. His knights and Derek doing the same as a hoard of armed bandits charged from out of the forest. Swords clashed and shouts sounded as a fight began.

Thrusts and parries from Camelot's skilful knights had the bandits on the defensive side. The knights were easily bringing down the forest men, even when outnumbered. Horses whinnied in protest, some rearing backwards onto their hind legs, propelling their riders forwards.

Meanwhile the King was slaughtering all those that came near, he had been brought down from his steed; cast aside from the main fight by a fair distance. He was now surrounded by three of the attackers.

The King ducked the first blow, bringing his sword forward, striking his aggressor low in the stomach. The man fell dead to the ground, Arthur sliding his sword out fast to block another assailing blow to his left side.

The two men that were left joined together in their assault on the King, with axes. Arthur blocked the blows as best as he could before the blunt end of an axe handle hit him hard on his chest. His chain mail protecting him, though the blow still sent him back, hitting firmly against the tree behind him. Winding him in the process.

The other axe came soaring towards his face, however the axe was brought rapidly away as one of Arthur's men violently took down the two bandits that had surrounded the King.

Arthur saw that his saviour had been none other than Derek who's brow was covered with sweat and was breathing fast and heavy. His face showed confusion. Arthur presumed it to be from his actions of killing the men.

His rescuer scanned the area around him, looking back and forth between the main battle and the winded Arthur. Derek's eyes were wild, emotions of anger and uncertainty radiated from his blue gaze.

Before Arthur could recover Derek had turned to face him, bringing his sword with him. Derek began to madly slice his blade against the King's torso. Derek had kicked the swords out of Arthur's hold once he had fallen from leaning against the tree.

Derek continued slicing against the now un-armed King's chest before forcing his sword through the damaged chain mail. The blonde kept up his attack, stabbing repeatedly until he was sure his bland had connected, at last running his sword through Arthur's chest with ease.

All this time the King had been utterly shocked and defenceless as his saviour turned attacker, ripping through his chain before slicing and stabbing at his body. His screams of pain and terror going unheard amongst the cries from the main battle.

Arthur did not see the full extent of Derek's actions as the blonde farmer knocked him out with the hilt of his sword.

Undisturbed from his actions and of the sight of a bloodied and broken King that lay at his feet, Derek scarpered from the scene and slid back towards the main fight.

The remaining bandits that were left fled when the knowledge of losing hit them. Half of the knights rode after, intent on eliminating the entire threat. The knights that stayed locked over the dead bandits and checked for their own wounds. Luckily injuries were very minor among the armoured knights.

Lancelot, being one to check over the dead enemy came across one of their own.

"The King!" he shouted, turning attention towards him "Arthur is hurt!"

Lancelot and Gwaine carried Arthur and sat him up on Lancelot's horse, the knight sitting behind him. Gwaine jumped to his own horse.

"Derek, get on. Us three are going back now!" Gwaine ordered, offering his hand out. Derek took it and positioned behind Gwaine.

The two horses rode off leaving the remaining knights to regain their breath and await for the rest of their company to return.

"Hold on Arthur" Lancelot whispered in his King's ear, riding hard, driven with determination to get back to Camelot and save his King.


	5. Living And Dying For You

Continuing regrets turn into something special

Chap 5 – Living and dying for you:

Gwen and Merlin had been shopping in the market town all morning. Gwen had bought numerous dresses and pieces of elegant jewellery to accompany her new outfits. The Queen also bought her old friend a red neckerchief to Merlin's dismay and nagging that he no longer wore them.

Now however Merlin was checking his reflection over in Gwen's chambers. At her persistent request Merlin had allowed her to give him a long overdue haircut. No longer just above his shoulders but now very short, fringe almost spiking up on its own accord. He looked like he used to. Short black hair making his overly large ears stick out further than normal people's, the red neckerchief adorning his slender neck. Merlin was back at the beginning again, he found himself realising that he hadn't actually changed at all.

Looking at his reflection his mind soared back in time. Remembering every single second he had spent here in Camelot with Gwen, Gaius, Morgana, the Dragon . . . and Arthur.

Arthur had been the reason Merlin had wanted to change so much, to prove to himself that he didn't need the Prince or destiny for that matter to control his life. It was and always had been Merlin's to make for himself.

"The King!" the voice of Gwaine sounded through the corridors before the knight himself ran through into the Queen's chambers, almost breathless.

"Gwen" Gwaine looked from her to the sitting warlock "Merlin."

"Gwaine, what is it?" the Queen asked.

"It's Arthur, he's hurt. It's bad."

Merlin abruptly stood tacking hold of Gwen's hand. She grasped tightly.

"Where he is now?" Merlin impatiently asked.

"In the physicians quarters, he's being seen to now."

The three friends ran from the Queen's chambers and down to the physicians rooms. Passing by on their way was Derek who had helped Lancelot carry Arthur into the castle.

Derek and Merlin's eyes met though the blonde looked away, storming off. Merlin wanted to see if he was alright but at the moment Arthur needed him more.

Once inside Gaius' old workroom the three companions could see Lancelot standing at the side whilst the current physician stepped away from the cleared desk Arthur had been placed on.

"My Queen" the physician noticed "I'm sorry" he began thought the four other people in the room knew what was coming. "There's nothing I can do. I've tried to control the bleeding but his injuries are far to vast and deep" he finished, bowing his apologies to the Queen who was now crying in Lancelot's arms.

"Let me see to him" Merlin spoke softly, wiping away the stray tear from his pale face as he walked to stand beside Arthur. Hovering his hand above the King, eyes shut Merlin searched.

His eyes flew open when he found what he was looking for.

"His attacker is still alive" Merlin stated for the others in the room.

"Some of the bandits did escape, it's possible the knights didn't get them all" Lancelot explained.

"That's a relief" Merlin began "while I was away, before I settled in Dunbar with Derek, I mastered aspects of my magic such as the power over life and death. I can heal Arthur and bargain his would be killers life in exchange for his."

"Do it." Lancelot ordered, Gwaine and Gwen nodding their agreement.

Merlin raised his arm towards the ceiling, his eyes open and glistening gold, concentrating hard. The room grew suddenly dark and very cold as black clouds formed above Merlin and Arthur. White sharp lights glimmered inside them, shooting down as bolts of lightning. Rain then poured out from the dark clouds, drenching both warlock and King.

The water dripped along the lines of the King's face until reaching pale lips.

Arthur's eyes shot open, gasping for air the rainclouds disappeared. The King ached yet felt no pain, no wounds adorning his body. The first thing he saw was the old Merlin from years ago. Had these long years been nothing more than a terrible dream, or was he just dead and in some form of afterworld.

"Merlin" Arthur whimpered, sitting up and drawing Merlin into a desperate embrace.

"You're alright, you're safe" Merlin reassured, hushing Arthur's mumbling, stroking blonde hair that belonged to the strong man that once was his entire world, still is.

"Merlin saved your life" Lancelot's voice caught the King's attention, turning to see his best knight and holding the woman he loved, well was supposed to love. The King simply smiled at their happiness.

"He used his magic to stop you from dying" Gwaine clarified.

"Of course he used magic" Arthur laughed, still holding tightly onto Merlin.

"Instead of you dying, that bandit that tried to kill you will instead" Merlin explained to the King.

Realisation dawned on Arthur, Derek had been the one to cause his near death, and was now going to die for it.

"Merlin" the King breathed.

A scream erupted from outside the physician's room. A maid then made her way into the room, followed by two guards who were carrying a man's body, placing it on the opposite table from where Arthur still sat and held onto Merlin.

"NO!" Merlin cried.

The recognition of this man sent Merlin to the floor. The warlock crawled over to the table, pulling himself up he tried to shake his love awake.

"Wake up Derek, please!" Merlin screamed, pleading with the strength that was in him.

The physician checked Derek's pulse to find nothing. "He's dead."

"No! I can save him, I'll search for his killer." Merlin began his magic but he couldn't find his loves killer.

"I can't find anyone!" the warlock stuttered. Merlin was beyond sobbing as Arthur now stood and held Merlin upright.

"Perhaps he died of natural causes" Gwen suggested, trying to be as tender hearted as she could.

"What happened?" Merlin shouted bitterly at the guards who had brought Derek in.

"I don't know my lord, he just walked by and collapsed onto the floor" one of the guards answered.

"Merlin" Arthur quietly spoke.

"He was perfectly fine on the journey back" Gwaine explained.

"Merlin" Arthur spoke louder.

"What!" Merlin barked, turning to face the King.

"Derek, he was the one, he did it." The King sadly explained.

Merlin just looked confused at Arthur's words.

"He was the one who attacked me, ran me through, knocked me out. Derek tried to kill me." Arthur held onto Merlin's arms to keep him steady.

"NO! You're lying!" Merlin screamed, trying to break from Arthur's grasp "You're lying!"

"Merlin calm down, please" Arthur held onto the warlock harder.

"Get off me!" Merlin broke from Arthur's hold, falling to the floor, tears pouring "You're lying, Derek wouldn't do that, he's a good man."

Arthur kneeled beside Merlin, leaning in close but not touching his upset friend. "People are capable of anything if given the right motive. Jealousy being a great one."

"Don't! Don't you dare make this about you and me! There never was ore ever will be a you and me!" Merlin spat.

"Merlin" Arthur went to hold Merlin's face but was pushed forcefully away.

"Get out! Everyone, get out!" Merlin ordered towards everyone. Standing up, eyes glowing amber, magic readying itself if he needed to use it.

Everyone left, Arthur having to be persuaded and almost dragged out, but eventually everyone left.

Merlin was left alone, looking down at the man he loved. Arthur never lied, his honour meant to much to him. Derek had attempted to kill Arthur, and now because of Merlin, Derek was dead.

The warlock chocked out a heavy sob before he kissed Derek's cold lips "Dead" Merlin whispered to the room, letting himself once more collapse onto the floor, holding himself as he began to cry his heart out.


	6. Can't Imagine Living My Life Without You

Continuing regrets turn into something special

Chap 6 – Can't imagine living my life without your love:

The next day Derek's body was burnt, his ashes lifting into the early morning sky. Knights and servants stood giving their respects, not knowing what had happened to lead to Derek's death.

Merlin stood at the back, watching the body of the man he had loved burn into the heavens. Arthur was approaching him but Merlin just looked away and walked off into the castle.

Merlin had finished packing when Gwen finally came to him.

"I take it you're not staying" the Queen began.

"No" Merlin answered, running through a final check of his belongings, making sure that he had everything he needed.

"Will you return to Dunbar?"

"No. Derek had no family so I don't need to go back and explain what happened. Lucky me" the warlock sarcastically replied, still confused and angry with what had taken place.

"Where will you go?"

"I'll wonder through the Kingdoms."

"Well at least talk to Arthur before you leave."

"Why should I!" he spat, turning to face her.

"Because you need talk to him."

"I don't need anything from him, especially not a _talk_" Merlin hoisted his pack up, slinging it around his shoulders and headed to the door, but stopped in his path to say one more thing "Arthur and I chose very different paths . . . a long time ago."

King Arthur was standing within the throne room looking out the window and down onto the courtyard. He was watching Merlin say his fair wells and mounting up his horse with belongings. Merlin was leaving. Slipping away again, no goodbyes, no nothing.

"Go after him" Gwen's voice sounded over his shoulder. Arthur didn't turn to face her but continued to watch Merlin from above.

"There's nothing I can do to make him stay. Besides he's better off without me."

"Now you know that's not true" Gwen currently stood next to him, facing him.

"Yes it is. I've ruined his life. I've broken his heart so many times" a tear fell from the King's eye, being tormented once again by old memories and now new ones, all his regrets.

"Then heal his heart."

While Gwen continued to convince Arthur, Merlin at last had saddled up and was saying his final goodbye to Camelot. Riding slowly through the upper towns to escape once more the damage Arthur had caused him.

The King had easily picked up Merlin's track, it seemed that Merlin had demounted from his steed a while back and was just leading the horse instead.

Arthur had ran from the throne room as soon as Gwen had given him her blessing. By the time he had got to the courtyard Merlin was already gone.

Now Arthur had finally come across the warlock by the exact same stream that had been the very location of the breakdown of their friendship all those years ago.

The King was watching the warlock from behind the shrubbery that surrounded the stream. Merlin was leaning down, washing the dirt and sweat from his face.

"I can sense you, you prat."

Arthur felt slightly stupid as he trudged out form his hiding place to stand next to Merlin.

"Why'd you follow me Arthur."

"You know why."

"Arthur, I'm leaving. End of."

"But you belong here."

"Arthur, I haven't belonged here for a long time."

"But you do! Here in Camelot. Your friends are here, I'm here."

"Exactly" the warlock sighed, turning around to attend to his horse, preparing to go.

"I still love you, you know."

Merlin returned his gaze to the King and sighed. "Arthur."

"No Merlin. You asked me right here in this very spot nine years ago who I loved more. I answered you and nine years on and it's still you. And I don't care now what people think."

"Bit too late for that now. Your married now my King."

"Gwen has asked to step down as Queen and thus my wife. I plan on arranging the details once I'm finished dealing with you."

"Well you better get going then your royal pratness as you **are** finished with me.2"

"You don't mean that."

"Destiny's changed Arthur, you and me. I'm no longer meant to be at your side. Your gonna have to find yourself a different court sorcerer" he firmly told the blonde whilst walking back to his horse. He did not get on though as Arthur had stopped him, turning him around to him around to face the King who held him in his firm grasp so Merlin couldn't escape.

"Think back to the night I told you I loved you. How shocked you were that I felt the same but at the same time how glad you were that my feelings were mutual. Think about when we kissed, your magic practically exploded!" the King awkwardly laughed, he was close to the verge of crying. " I confessed to you my heart that night as I do again today. I've been a fool, back then I was so scared what people would think. Back then I had my father and everyone to please. Yet know I find that the only person I want approval from is you. All I ever wanted was you."

The tears had now fallen as the King sobbed throughout "These years you've been gone I've dreamed of you every night. Your eyes, your smile have haunted my thoughts. And I'm so sorry I was not there for you, when your mother died, or when you found yourself hurting or afraid. I'm sorry I caused Derek's death-"

Merlin interrupted "You didn't cause it Arthur."

"Merlin" the King went to his knees, taking hold of Merlin's hands "I beg you to forgive me. I love you Merlin, with all I have, I love you."

Merlin pulled Arthur up from his knees, placing his hands either side of Arthur's reddened face that was soaked with royal tears.

The King leant against Merlin's touch, into the soothing warmth he always had to offer.

Merlin slowly leant forwards until his lips came into contact with Arthur's. His eyes closed, mimicking the Kings.

Merlin's kiss was chaste and affectionate. Arthur tried to keep it tender but he couldn't hold back. He never could when it came to Merlin. The King whimpered when Merlin's hands slide into his blonde hair, trying to pull the King further towards him; the warlock deepened the kiss.

Lips parted and tongues collided together with a need that had been growing for years. Arthur had wrapped his arms around Merlin's back as felt the warlocks magic wakening, meeting him in the warmth and delight from the two lovers kissing.

The moment was perfect. Relief at last from being able to touch each other's lips, to hold one another. To finally feel complete.

Both men could have remained like that for eternity, but the need for air caught up with them. Arthur would have been happy to die drowning in Merlin. They held each other, leaning against one another's forehead; breathing in deeply to refill their lungs.

"God, I've been waiting forever to kiss you like that again" Arthur breathed.

"I know the feeling" Merlin replied.

They both grinned, at last feeling a form of contentment. Arthur went in for another kiss, though Merlin stopped him.

"Can we take it slow, I . . . Derek, he" Merlin muttered. Torn between being completely happy being in Arthur's arms and a bastard for going straight into said arms so soon after the death of his long term partner that he had ultimately caused.

"Anything Merlin." The King softly kissed the warlocks forehead. He had waited eight years for Merlin to come back into his life and he wasn't going to let anything happen to make Merlin leave again. After all they were the two sides of the same coin. They were each other's destinies, they were meant to be.


	7. Always And Forever

Continuing regrets turn into something special

Epilogue – Always and Forever:

A year on things had settled and at last all was finally the way it should be in Camelot. Gwen had stepped down as Queen and soon after married Lancelot. The people of Camelot had been expecting the separation of their King and Queen for a long time as well as the courting between Arthur and their new court sorcerer.

Merlin had agreed to the position straight after Derek's death although it took many months for the dust to settle, but eventually Merlin came round.

Arthur tool it slow in wooing Merlin, especially why he was still grieving.

It was four months ago when their relationship officially began. Merlin and Arthur had been hunting, well Arthur had been hunting. They had stopped for the night, Arthur setting up the individual bed sprawls while Merlin went off and collect wood for the fire even though he could have just produced one with his magic.

When Merlin had realised this he had already got back to the camp and deposited the wood down onto the forest floor. Arthur was already fast asleep on his blanket, eyes shut tight.

"I'll show you _magic_" Arthur whispered seductively.

Merlin managed to hold back his laughter as the King continued to talk in his sleep. He then created a fire before settling down to the sleeping blonde.

By morning Arthur was sprawled out on top of Merlin. Their limbs entangled, bodies warm. The warlock decided for no apparent reason to awaken his King with a King.

Arthur quickly woke and responded as they began tossing and turning on the forest floor in each other's arms, very much like what they were doing this morning in their bed within the castle of Camelot.

"Arthur, we have to get up" the warlock told his King, trying to break free from the blonde's strong hold.

"Five more minutes" Arthur moaned in annoyance at Merlin's insistence until he had Merlin pinned firmly beneath him.

"Arthur you have a meeting this morning, and the time it takes you to get dressed-"

"For you to get me dressed" Arthur corrected.

"Prat. We still need to get up though. Don't make me use my magic on you"

"Oh but I love when you use your _magic_ on me"

"Arthur" Merlin threatened in a paternal manner.

"Who are you, my mother. I can get up, and off _you_, when I want"

Merlin fidgeted trying to get out from underneath Arthur's body as he continued to prattle on.

"Though, that would be very wrong if you were; considering what we were getting up to last night. You can get me undressed easily enough."

"Arthur!"

Finally the King stopped talking, looking straight down at Merlin, smiling mischievously before connecting his lips with the warlock's beneath him. It was a slow and sensual kiss that made the man beneath moan in pleasure.

The King pulled away, turning to his side to get out of bed when Merlin pulled him back on top of him and kissed the King more passionately and needy.

Arthur leant back. "What happened to 'we have to get up Arthur'" The blonde mimicked.

"You're the King, your allowed to be late" Merlin quickly answered before claiming Arthur's mouth once more.

In the end Arthur had to post-pone that meeting, like most meetings since Arthur and Merlin were always too busy making up for lost time. Ten years to be precise.


End file.
